Base Jumping Possum
Base Jumping Possum
It was a dark and stormy night, one that makes you want to slip deep down under the bed covers and ignore those “bumps in the night.” Ma was sleeping peacefuly when she was awoken by an insistent tugging at her toes. She automatically knew it was not the amorous advances on the part of her other half as they had been married far too long for that sort of nonsense.
As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, there appeared what seemed to be an alien gremlin with devious intentions. In fact, it turned out to be a base jumping possum, that had gained access via the chimney – a furry fiend all the same!
With her ‘possum whispering’ powers Ma tried to determine if the creature had come with a dire message for its human neighbours, “your stinking townhouse developments are eroding our habitat, move away or face our wrath!” However, Ma discovered as her unslippered foot hit the floor, that the possum’s message was far more base than that. It was more like “your house is an awesome toilet!”
Turning to Pa with the shriek “there’s a possum on my bed,” heralded the unhelpful reply “go back to sleep woman!” The defender and protector of the family may have snored his way through the home invasion, but in doing so he paved the way for an unsung hero to save the day.
As Ma shooed the googled eyed critter off the bed and out the bedroom door, little black pellets were scattered about the room and squashed into the carpet. Ma’s eyes narrowed. This was no longer about saving the flora and fauna of our beloved country, this was now personal!
The ensuing shrieks from Ma and skidding claws on lino aroused the protective passions of the family dog, Gertie. Dear Gertie who’d flee from a cat and delicately tread around puddles, leaped into action catching the invading creature in her narrow jaws. The offending animal was rendered helpless as fur flew in all directions. Us kids poured out of our bedrooms just in time to see Pa (who’d eventually decided his wife wasn’t hallucinating, and that it was now safe to intervene and take credit) remove the piqued possum to the outdoors.
Thus our family was spared. Gertie was rewarded with pats and bikkies, though of course it wasn’t a happy ending for the possum.
It just goes to prove that base jumping is an extreme sport – if you base jump down a chimney and carry out base acts, you’ll have to accept the consequences.
Thanks Audrey K from Auckland, New Zealand for sharing with us your memory. Remember, if you have a crazy possum story to tell, drop us a line and we may even publish it! Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org