Ms Possum had a very nice nocturnal experience recently – she went to the Ball. It was a gathering of 249 like minded individuals and Ms Possum realised she would have to look her glorious and “furious” best.

To that end, she got her locks curled and put on her best possum fur stole. She was joined by a few of her friends and Ms Possum’s generosity extended to decking out these females in furry attire as well. So the self appointed “Fur Brigade” made their grand entrance into the sumptuously decorated Ballroom full of chandeliers, chaise longues and beautiful people.

However, Ms Possum noticed a disproportionate number of females to males in this exclusive setting – she calculated it might have been 66 to 33.3% recurring. Her friends concurred with this mathematically precise analysis. One of them remarked that Ms Possum could possibly be held responsible for decimating the male population with her sharp wit, talons and “furociousness”!! Unjustly accused Ms Possum hissed. Her theory is that the male population is depleted about the time of a Ball as this is the time when most males discover a genetic deformity linked to two left feet and they do not want to draw attention to this inherent disorder. They are sometimes found suspiciously lurking together in sheds flexing their arm muscles instead of those in their legs.

Others end up leaving these Antipodean shores. As New York and London report the same problems, Ms Possum has concluded that some males do not make it having “lost“ their way due to an aversion to ask for directions en-route. Perhaps they are still circumnavigating the globe as we speak which could have something to do with the increase in global warming and the skewing of the above figures.

Ms Possum wants to give all these recalcitrant males a short sharp talonic jab of Vupeculean strength to wake them up from this inexcusable avoidance of responsibility.

Needless to say, despite these severe male shortcomings, Ms Possum had fun sipping her fave drinks, dancing, mingling and enjoying the dimly lit atmosphere.

She just loves being a creature of the night…